No, I don't want to hire my kid

Parenting PR Pitches of Doom: A series

This is the second in a series of pieces I’m calling “Parenting PR Pitches of Doom,” a peek into the emails that make me cringe at the realities of raising & educating kids in a late-stage capitalist world on fire. Enjoy!

The pitch: Make child labor cute again

Hi Emily,

Summer is traditionally a time when teenagers get their first jobs. But instead of waiting until their teen years, families can teach their young children the importance of responsibility, hard work, and commitment by providing them with their first job experience at home. The kids are also learning valuable money skills along the way like earning, saving, and spending to help them avoid joining the 43% of Americans who are financially illiterate.

Would you be interested in speaking with [redacted] about ways parents can hire their kids during summer break and provide hands-on job and money experience at a young age?

Thank you,

C.

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Dear C.,

As the preamble to the Industrial Workers of the World’s Constitution reminds us, “The working class and the employing class have nothing in common.” Sure, I too am a fan of “responsibility, hard work, and commitment.” But here’s what I don’t want for my kid: